Two days a pair of spanx and one fake tan later!

Two days later and armed with a pair of spanx and a fake tan,incidently girls when youve had a fake tan do remember some of it does come off the next day hence i have ruined two of my beautiful white fluffy towels! i was ready to meet my first date my "Greeneyes" was arriving by South west trains at 11am,not being able to drive myself and knowing that the Wine vaults was just about 15 mins from the station i suggested he get a cab from outside the station.

At 6am i was up and soaking in a lush fizz bomb i only use these on special occassions and by the time i had got out the bath and smothered myself in mandarin body butter i was good enough too eat,hopefully he wouldnt eat me on the first date,but maybe the 2nd if there was one,i still wasnt sure about mr "Greeneyes" im always abit surpicious of a guy in his forties never being married,my heart beating ten to the dozen i decided to leave in plenty of time to make myself comfy in The Wine vaults,i choose a corner seat by the window so i could distract myself watching the world go by its also next to the front door so i could make a quick exit if my date got too much.The Wine Vaults which has just been refurbished is a delightful place which fits right in with the quirkiness and uniqueness of the shops in Albert Road,its also right opposite The Kings Theatre,handy if you want a delicious meal and drinks before a show,the oldy worldly wooden tables and floors along with lots of film posters up on the walls make it very cosy and the black frontage gives it a stylish feel and the menu is reasonably priced.

My date rang too say he hadnt got a taxi but had decided to walk to the bar,alarm bells silently went off in my head was greeneyes a mr cheapskate?,20 mins later he arrived hot and sweaty and wearing well something that resembled a 1980s shell suit,thank god i choose a seat by the door!

Sleepless in Southsea

Well here i was in sunny southsea,ive lived here for about 18 months now,me a forty something singleton living in a lush garden flat, with a swimming pool with my crazy tabby kitten Aurora for company and living opposite the sea with a job i adored working in the theatre, mixing with the odd celeb,life was good wasnt it?,except it wasnt i needed something else,Southsea ive discovered is full of exciting things to do,delicious places to eat,great entertainment which is fabulous its also full of couples,everywhere i go their there holding hands,pushing buggies,having rows!,even a row seems good when your a singleton,The last two years their hasnt been even a sniff of a man,last new years i had decided the time was right to bag myself a hot new guy and then in february i lost my lovely mum suddenly and have spent the last year sorting out her estate and moving from my rented flat in Clarendon road. So now here i am a whole year later at 1am in the morning logging on to one of those free dating sites in hope of finding love,after filling out my profile with the usual info,trying to make myself less boring than i am, im fun, i say , and no baggage ok well i do have a lot of handbags and dont have any bad vices except chocolate,hazlenut baileys.,and a passion for vintage clothes. i am reliable except when im late though thats not often,ok forget the reliable bit that just sounds like im applying for a job! i come to the bit where it says what sort of man are you looking for..hmmm

A sexy hunk with a big wallet,no cant put that sounds shallow and not what im looking for except the sexy bit no i want a keeper,someone thats fun and genuine,loves what life has to offer too share new experiances,to be a friend and a lover.i dont mind tall,short,colour of hair,no hair!,just a genuine guy not obese or smelly and someone that can keep up with me.I take a deep breath and hit the send button,my heart is already racing,let my adventures begin!

The next day was saturday and i had overslept i dont have an alarm clock ever since ive had my cat Aurora who is now 8 months old, i havent needed one as every morning she insists on diving under the duvet and nibbling my toes and pouncing on me until i get up and get her breakfast,ive tryed shutting her out of the bedroom but she just screams all night like a banshee which tends to annoy my neighbour,my lovely neighbour by the way is a dear elderly lady called suzie in her eighties i guess,and has an actress daughter who used to be in Eastenders until the charactor she played had the misfortune to be run over by a car. . i hope my new man to be likes cats!

Anyway after my busy day at work and half a bottle of wine later i decided to log on too the dating site and see if anyone had replied, there were nine messages i clicked open the first one it was from a guy called Bob, Hi princess, im seperated looking for a fun naughty friend,fancy meeting up?,Bob im afraid was quickly confined to the cyber trash can,the next few werent much better, there was David a Shakespearian actor living in Nottingham,well built but sexy i replied back telling him abit more about me,my life and we were getting on fine until he asked how hard do i like being spanked,not since i was at school and cut one of Sarah Smiths plaits off have i been spanked and i have no desires to be spanked again,i had the bruises for a week,kids these days dont know the tortures we used to suffer at school nothing like that would ever happen now gone are the days off getting the cane or slipper thank goodness.

I finally got to the last message my hopes of finding love dimishing by now,and i was feeling somewhat dishearterned and abit drunk since i had finished the bottle of white, my last two messages was from a guy who ill call "mr Havent" hes 42,works in a call centre,tall dark and looks very fit!, hes divorced three grown up children,who dont live with him yes!,The last one was from mr "Greeneyes",never married,no children, a little bit older at 48 but he has his own business in london,he has a nice smile and green eyes,i have a thing for green eyes, i decide too chat too both of them Mr Greeneyes sends me one of those cyber rose thingys and several messages and one phone call later we decide to meet for coffee at the Wine Vaults in albert road,and then i will show him the sites of Southsea! ive been to the Wine Vaults on several occassions and enjoyed the atmosphere and two lovely christmas works dos!now all i need is a new hairdo,I take my best vintage frock out of retirement in my wardrobe it still fits just,its a surprise! since being in Southsea ive put on at least half a stone due too after show drinkies and off course over eating mince pies at christmas.